This piece was originally published at TheLStop. Within every lesbian community there exists a tale as old as time, a proverb as common as it is contentious: Bi women cheat, betray, and ultimately leave — never for another woman, but for a man. Like those who flee the tumults of city life for quieter and less complicated pastures, bisexual women may seem destined, in the eyes of gay women, to trade the grit and hardships of queer life for the suburbs of heteroville. But is this really because we prefer a life of white-picket simplicity and comfort? Or could it be that, when it comes to romance between queer women, the game has been rigged from the start? Like many stereotypes, the lived experiences of one group have almost certainly colored the perceptions of another, however unfairly or inaccurately. I spent the first two decades of my life living as a closeted trans woman — a bisexual male to the outside world. I have since transitioned, and now live as a bisexual woman.
Weird things I’ve heard as a bisexual woman
This piece originally appeared on Femsplain. Femsplain is a community for everyone, powered by personal stories from anyone female-identified. It has been given minor edits before re-posting. As any woman knows, dating, even in the age of Tinder and OKCupid can be an ordeal akin to slogging through a fetid marsh in search of treasure. For bisexuals, and indeed anyone who does not identify as being straight, gay, or lesbian, this is further complicated by the numerous stereotypes that have been associated with them.
Bisexual women face a lot of negative emotions from straight people and LGBTQ people alike. We’re here to bust the myths about bi women.
Bisexuality is romantic attraction, sexual attraction , or sexual behavior toward both males and females,   or to more than one sex or gender. The term bisexuality is mainly used in the context of human attraction to denote romantic or sexual feelings toward both men and women,   and the concept is one of the three main classifications of sexual orientation along with heterosexuality and homosexuality , all of which exist on the heterosexual—homosexual continuum.
A bisexual identity does not necessarily equate to equal sexual attraction to both sexes; commonly, people who have a distinct but not exclusive sexual preference for one sex over the other also identify themselves as bisexual. Scientists do not know the exact cause of sexual orientation, but they theorize that it is caused by a complex interplay of genetic , hormonal , and environmental influences ,    and do not view it as a choice.
Bisexuality has been observed in various human societies  and elsewhere in the animal kingdom    throughout recorded history. The term bisexuality , however, like the terms hetero- and homosexuality , was coined in the 19th century. Bisexuality is romantic or sexual attraction to both males and females. The American Psychological Association states that “sexual orientation falls along a continuum. In other words, someone does not have to be exclusively homosexual or heterosexual, but can feel varying degrees of both.
Sexual orientation develops across a person’s lifetime—different people realize at different points in their lives that they are heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual. Sexual attraction, behavior, and identity may also be incongruent, as sexual attraction or behavior may not necessarily be consistent with identity. Some individuals identify themselves as heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual without having had any sexual experience.
Others have had homosexual experiences but do not consider themselves to be gay, lesbian, or bisexual.
What Your Taste in Lesbian and Bi Women Says About You
If you were to divide the entire LGBTQ community into a pie, the bisexual slice would be the largest by far. About 50 percent of the LGBTQ community identifies as bisexual, yet bisexuality remains gravely misunderstood, even by other queer people. We all know that one lesbian who refuses to date bi women. Bisexual people suffer significantly higher rates of depression, anxiety, domestic violence, sexual assault, and poverty than lesbians, gay men, or cis-het people.
Welp, not on our watch!
Bi women don’t always have an easy time even in liberal San Francisco. Photo: David Silverman, Getty Images. Hours before a date with a Tinder.
By Talia Squires. For those of you who don’t know, Bi Visibility Day is coming up on September 23 rd. Very few people are aware of this day. I think this is in part because people don’t always have an understanding of why bisexuality requires it’s own day. Many seem to think bisexuality is just kind of ‘gay light. In fact, bi folks face quite a few unique challenges.
The more time I spend involved in bi activism and talking to other bi folks, the more I hear one major complaint. Bi men complain that straight women won’t date them, because these women are afraid that they will leave them for a man. Gay men won’t date bi men, because they assume these men are in the closet. And everyone assumes you’re a slut.
The Frisky — One of the first times I went on a date with a girl, she asked me, “Are you bi or gay? I then fell all over myself in an effort to explain to her that, although I was unsure about how to define my sexuality, I was definitely into girls, more so than I’m into guys. I am not and have never been bi-curious, bi for attention or bi only when men are around. Since then, I’ve figured out that I’m solely into girls.
So I guess I wasn’t too good to be true, huh? But, alas, in parts of the gay community, being bi or being a lesbian who has hooked up with guys in the past is like having horns or an incurable disease.
A look into the experiences of bisexual women who happened to fall in love with men. I’ve only ever been with my boyfriend and one woman, so it was a big deal when I wrote down that I was bisexual on that form. At least for me; it was the first time I had identified myself in that way. A year or so later, when I got pregnant, we went back in to the doctor to confirm and after we had heard our baby’s heartbeat for the first time, seen that it was a real being, that our lives were about to change, the nurse comes in to do my examination my boyfriend had left at this point and tells me in a sly voice, ‘I guess we can cross the bisexual off your chart, can’t we?
That was just a phase. I grew up in a Christian, conservative family. My parents never said that homosexuality was wrong, but they never really said it was OK either. I think they didn’t want to address it.
The Best Dating Apps For Lesbians, Queer, & Bi Women
Dating online can be filled with lots of tricky questions from the start. For many bisexuals, this is not an easy conversation to have. Some accuse us of being predisposed to cheating. Others wonder if we can ever be happy in a monogamous relationship. Frequently, we get sexualized like when a straight man automatically assumes a bisexual woman is completely open to a threesome.
But when exactly is the right time?
I have heard lots of stories about lesbians who do not want to date bisexual women because “they always go back to men”. Is this true? How do you .
Bisexuality: not a new concept, but one that still seems mysterious and confusing to some people. No, go away, and yes are the respective answers to those questions above. At least, I hope the final answer is yes, because otherwise I am about to experience the world’s largest existential crisis and frankly, now is not the best time. I came out as bisexual in my early 20s following an adolescence of suspecting my attraction to others was more complex than I was willing to admit.
While I’m comfortable with myself now and can laugh at some of the awkward questions people have thrown my way, it’s worth remembering everyone’s relationship with their sexuality is personal and unique. What might seem an innocent question to one person could be upsetting to another, so let’s be mindful that everyone is on their own journey. Sorry for saying journey. A lesbian friend once casually told me she’d met plenty of bisexuals in her time but never a ‘real’ one.
Bisexual or lesbian — please make up your mind
I was in LT lesbian relationships for around 16 years. Reconciling fact vs feels is hard enough in a heterosexual relationship. I was with my partners for 2 and 14 years, respectively. They are both as needy, cliquey and annoying as each other. They are both riddled with self-esteem issues.
Zoe is a FREE cutting-edge dating and social networking app for lesbian, bisexual and queer women around the world. The concept is easy: Swipe right to “like”.
Yes, she’s really bisexual. You wouldn’t keep asking a straight woman you were dating if she was “really” straight, right? Yeah, it’s just as weird for you to do that to a bisexual woman. And on top of annoying questions, she likely experiences a unique form of identity erasure. As a result, I often feel unseen. No, she’s not going to cheat on you just because she’s bisexual. That’d be like saying someone was going to cheat on you because all blondes cheat. Do you know how many monogamous blondes there are in the world?
So many monogamous blondes! Same with bisexuals. She’s not going through a phase.